Jeff Cormier was a sociologist and a very close friend. We met while the two of us were grad students in sociology at McGill. In our time together there, we shared many serious and many more not-so-serious professional and friendship experiences. While he was efficient and productive as a scholar, and was on his way to having a successful academic career, Jeff had a range of esoteric interests and befriended people from all walks of life. His unique combination of intelligence, curiosity, generosity, and humour drew many folks to become friends with Jeff.
On September 7, 2007, Jeff Cormier passed away. To commemorate five years since Jeff's death, I have decided to post the eulogy I wrote and delivered at a memorial service that was held at McGill. In the eulogy, I did my best to honour Jeff's memory by telling typical stories of my friendship with him. My hope is that those who knew Jeff, and maybe a few who never did, will read this and be reminded of the kind of warm, wacky, and compelling human being he was.
‘Cormier’
Since many of us
simply called him ‘Cormier,’ that is how I will refer to Jeff today.
I was a PhD student here at McGill with
Cormier. He and I were interested
in many of the same topics in sociology.
We were never in a class together because Cormier started his studies a
few years before I did, but this did not prevent the two of us from becoming
friends. In the next few minutes,
I am going to tell you a few memories of my friendship with Cormier during the
McGill years. I already know that
most of you, who were also friends with Cormier, will recognize aspects of your
friendship with him in the stories that I recount.
One of the funniest
things about my friendship with Cormier is that, if I reflect back on the first
couple of encounters I had with him, I never really thought that it would have
been possible.
The first time I met
Cormier, I got a very bad impression.
I stumbled into the TA room early in my first semester in the program, I
think 822A in the Leacock Building, and saw this guy holding court with what I
assumed to be a group of other graduate students whom I had not yet met. Maybe they were even undergrads. There was a brief introduction, but I
really did not like Cormier. Why
did I not like Cormier? I didn’t
like Cormier because he was this big guy with really long hair who seemed to be
very charismatic and animated in his conversation with the others. Durkheim, an early sociologist,
suggested that the bond between like and like cannot be as strong as that
between unlikes, and since I also had long hair at the time and since I was
also known to be somewhat charismatic with my peers, when I saw this guy
looking like that and making the others laugh, I just didn’t like it. Who would want to be friends with a
charismatic guy with long hair?
Cormier was a very
good hockey player, and I think my second encounter with him came after a
weekly game at the McConnel Arena that the sociology and geography graduate
students used to play back then. I
did not really know the guy that much and, after the game, I found myself
standing around with him in the lobby of the arena as we waited for the others
to emerge from the dressing room.
We had a short conversation then and, if memory serves, one of the
topics that came up was teaching. I told Cormier that I was pursuing a PhD because I wanted to
teach one day. Cormier, so much
taller than I am, looked down at me, shaking his head, and said something like,
“Avi, you think that as a teacher you have something interesting and
enlightening to bring to your students.
Your students will want to get good grades. The two things are not compatible.” “Who was this guy and why did he say
these terrible things?” I asked myself.
That Cormier was so smooth on the ice, but who would want to be friends
with a guy who dispenses such disheartening advice?
We didn’t start out
as friends.
Strangely, though,
as the years of grad school progressed, things really changed for me and
Cormier. The more encounters I had
with him, the more I found Cormier’s advice to make some sense or to be kind of
funny. There was a certain
charming irony in the fact that he was into political sociology and loved
Trudeau, Gellner, and Charles Taylor, but that I found him to be so
apolitical. I experienced hilarity
in the way that he would come into my apartment, head straight to my book
shelves, and be genuinely tickled to examine some of my new selections, and I
was intrigued by the fact that he was a roadie for a local band. There were engaging conversations at
meals—a few at his apartment with Julie and many at Amelio’s or at the
Vietnamese place at Les Cours Mont Royal—and there was banter, uproarious but
always witty banter, in the locker room at the weekly hockey game. We loved to make up nicknames for the
profs. Steve Rytina was ‘Stevie
Awry,’ Roger Krohn, ‘the Artful Roger,’ and John Hall, well, John was simply
John. Cormier admired John Hall as
much as a grad student can admire his or her favourite professor.
Cormier and I had
become friends after all.
Cormier worked hard
while he was at McGill. He worked
hard with Axel. He worked hard to
complete his degree under the guidance of Suzanne. He always seemed to be working. He often had an article he wanted to share. He always had something intellectual
cooking with Philippe. He was
serious about sociology. He seemed
to know where he wanted to go with this academic thing. I noticed how hard he worked and, in
seeing this and reflecting on myself, I thought that I would never make it
because I don’t, I can’t, work as
hard as this guy does. One day
Cormier said, “Avrum” (by this time he would sweetly call me by my full first
name) “I treat it like a 9 to 5 job.
I work all day and when I leave the library I leave the work
behind. The next day at 9 I start
over again.” Thinking that I was
so clever, I responded to Cormier, “Cormier, I will never succeed at this, I
will never be able to work hard enough, I don’t have the Protestant work ethic
like you do!” Cormier looked at me
and laughed like crazy. He laughed
that laugh where you think you must be the funniest person alive. I thought he laughed because he knew it
was true, he had the Protestant work
ethic. After he laughed, Cormier
looked me deep in the eyes and said, “Avrum, I’m Catholic.” I never knew if he laughed then because
I thought he was Protestant or because he thought the joke was truly funny.
I am going to wrap
up my storytelling now by sharing two quick, but my most favourite, memories of
Cormier from those days.
The second last
memory occurred when Cormier, Jimmy Kennedy (another grad student), and I were
hanging out in a different TA room, it was near Suzanne’s office but I don’t
actually remember the room number.
Jimmy and I had been talking recently about Cormier and we both
mentioned that we could not get over this guy’s laugh. He was out of control when he
laughed. Everyone knows it. Everyone! Jimmy and I were so into Cormier’s laugh, that when we sat
chatting in that TA room, without really planning to do it, Jimmy and I found
ourselves laughing intentionally just to draw Cormier into laughing too. It started and it went on and on and
on. Jimmy and I just kept laughing
and Cormier laughed even louder.
We were like school children.
I was sure we were disturbing Suzanne. We put it on so we could derive enjoyment from hearing him
laugh and Cormier was totally unaware of what we were up to. That just made the whole thing
funnier. Cormier, hearing this
story now, would probably say that Jimmy and I were taking the piss to him.
We were. We did it out of
affection.
My final memory is
of when, even though Cormier was a political sociologist who seemed to me to be
apolitical, I saw him unexpectedly one day at a very political event. It was not long after I came back from
my fieldwork in Israel and I was still all fired up. There was a major downtown rally in support of Israel and
there was a small counter-rally organized by those who wanted to stick up for
the Palestinians. I went to check
this out because this was what I was studying. I was most surprised, part way through the action, to hear
my name being called, and to look beyond a fence separating the two sides to
see Cormier. “Why was he here?,” I
asked myself. That question
quickly became irrelevant. What is
really important here is that, after I made my way to him and after we
exchanged a few thoughts on what we were in the midst of, Cormier told me
something that was so great. No
one ever knew what Cormier was doing, what projects he was involved with, even
though he did a lot. I could not
have predicted what he was about to say, but he told me, right in the middle of
Israel versus Palestine in downtown Montreal, that he got a tenure-track job at
King’s University College at Western.
The racket of the demo faded to me. He looked so proud.
He looked so pleased. I was
so happy for him. I was so happy
that he looked so clearly happy with what he had accomplished. The demonstration was just the same old
same old. Cormier’s news made it a
really wonderful day.
I told you at the
beginning that I would present to you my memories about Cormier, the guy with
whom I originally never expected to be friends. As with many memories, I cannot be certain that I got the
timelines, or even all the details, 100% right. What I am certain
of is that the final two memories I shared with you—about Cormier’s beautiful propensity to laugh and about
the quiet pride and pure joy he expressed when he told me he
landed the job—revealed the qualities that Cormier displayed in abundance. Those are the qualities that enticed
me, and so many others, to spend time with him. Those are the
qualities that will always come to mind when I think about my dear departed
friend.